Ryan Howard “Hammers” Turner Field
This message is aimed at anyone who will attend Turner Field when Ryan Howard and the Phillies come to town this upcoming year. For those of you who don’t know, Turner Field is home to the Atlanta Braves (third place last year), a third baseman who doesn’t like to be in the linup against good pitchers, a bunch of fans who don’t come to games (try buying a ticket to a Phillies Game for a dollar like you can in ATL), and the one of the worst stadium music for opposing players in the game. I’m not going to get all over them for playing “Feliz Navidad” when Pedro Feliz comes to bat, nor am I going to bust thier chops for the lame 80’s rap song they play when Jimmy Rollins comes up… I want to address why they play the theme song from “The Office” when Ryan Howard steps into the box. Sure there’s a guy named Ryan Howard on the office and i guess the Braves think that’s funny when they hear that music. Let’s come to reality… Since they started playing that music, it has done nothing but help Ryan Hammer the ball and all pitchers in Turner Field. Let’s take a look at the numbers:
9 Games, 33 At Bats, 6 Bombs, 12 RBI’s, .421 On Base Percentage, .939 Slugging Percentage (that’s right .939, that’s not a misprint), and a remarkable .333 Batting Average.
Face it, the guy rakes in ATL. Maybe instead of The Office theme song they should play “Walking on Broken Glass” cause that’s what ATL pitchers should be forced to do if they don’t walk Howard when he comes up to bat. They should rename the stadium HHH for Howard Hammers Homers. The guy licks his chops when he gets off the van in ATL. Can’t wait for this year!
The Truth about the Phillies 
1. The Phillies must not have any good pitchers because Chipper’s career batting average is the higher against the Phillies than any other opponent.
2. The new organist at Turner Field is awesome! You wouldn’t even have known about the Ryan Howard office connection had I not made it aware to you.
3. Howard can straight mash, no doubt about it! It was hard to watch because I think I saw 3 of those 6 bombs personally. However you forgot to mention this stat: 8 strikeouts. So maybe Turner Field could be renamed HHBWM- Howard Homers But Whiffs More.